My Weapon of Gratitude

By Sarah

I have done a lot of thinking recently about happiness and joy...where it originates, why it so easily departs from us, where it resides within us and why some people seem to have so much while others never seem to have any.  As I thought about this, I kept thinking of the verse in the Bible which talks about the Enemy's primary plan to defeat us in the most personal way.  He does this by stealing and attempting to kill any joy we might be feeling.  He robs us of our smiles, drives wedges and distance into our relationships, deminishes our passions, removes feelings of effectiveness and purpose from our careers, works to steal our desires, wants to thwart any forward progress we might be making, shatters our dreams, removes our security, interrupts our peace and especially decimates our hopes. He lies to us...and sometimes we fall for his tricks and believe him.

Our Enemy is hard at work with laser focus.  He knows when we are most vulnerable and weak- the times when we are most likely to give in and agree to the lies he is whispering to our hearts.  He wants us to not only be defeated, but more importantly to believe we are defeated.  He wants us to agree that there is no hope of things ever changing or being different.  He wants us to believe that our present circumstances define us and who we have been called and created to be.  He wants us to ignore Jesus' enduring message of hope, beauty and destiny.  Our enemy knows that if we do believe him, our lives will be miserable and hopeless- and that is exactly what he wants. He does not want us living in any way so as to be fully alive.

I think in my own way, I've allowed Satan to obtain a stronghold in my life in some of these areas these past few months.  My joy in life has been lacking.  I've allowed fear for our future pregnancies and our children's health to creep into my thoughts and take up residence.  I've also been completely swallowed by disappointment.  I've felt hopeless many days, and at times eaten alive by my grief, my frustration, my sadness, jealousy, isolation and sometimes full-on anger. Loving others well during this season has often required a great effort on my part and I fear my efforts have frequently fallen far short of the mark.

So just when I felt all but completely defeated in life, I came across a reminder which has become a powerful tool and weapon for me these last couple of weeks in my effort to push back against the crushing feelings of disappointment and defeat.  It's a really a simple practice:  it's gratitude.  I am learning that nothing cuts faster to the heart of my enemy's attack than gratitude.  Where he would have me believe I have nothing to offer, nothing more to celebrate in life, nothing good ever coming my way again- I can choose to consciously look around, notice the simple beauty in everyday life and be reminded that I do.   In fact, I have so much to be thankful for that once I begin reminding myself, my spirits cannot help but rise a little bit...and so the simple practice of being thankful becomes my weapon to push back against the lurking doom Satan would have me believe is just around the corner.

So that is what I am working on doing during this season of healing and renewal- being thankful...and I really do think it is helping me!  The more I pay attention to the good stuff, it helps me to keep the difficult and more painful things in perspective and not be overwhelmed by the heartbreak that is still very present.  Yes, the ache is still there and my heart wounds are fresh, but I have to remember that in addition to feeling those aches and sorrows, my heart still (amazingly) has the capacity to experience beauty, life, love, fun and wonder too...I just have to give myself permission.  And when I stumble upon these simple gifts in my day, soak them in and make a conscious effort to express gratitude to God for them, I am reminded that despite all of the heartbreak and struggles we've faced recently, my cup truly does overflow with blessing if I'm willing to open my heart and eyes to look and see.

Some things I'm grateful for today: blooming white tulips, warm breezes, the wiff of a pretty new perfume sample from a new magazine in your mailbox, homemade quiche, TV shows that make you laugh out loud, time with a dear friend early in the morning.....