Three

It is hard not be in awe when standing beneath a blanket of stars on a clear winter's night.  How close they seem yet, still so far away.  Those are some of my favorite nights because I feel like I am allowed to see into heaven just a little bit in the only way God allows my earthly eyes to peek.  Most days, our sky is clouded or shaded by blue, but at night it is as if the curtain of the day is pulled back and heaven is right there for the looking provided we stop and take it in.  

I look for you there, Luke- my sweetest boy.  Over and over and over again.  I wonder what you are doing, who you are with, what you can see and what you know.  I miss you so deeply that at times it feels impossible to breathe.  The tears still fall fresh and my body shakes with the ache of missing you.  I wish you were here napping, making messes, telling me stories, playing with Lily, snuggling with books, sharing meals with us, playing in the playroom and that we were tucking you into a warm bed each night singing you softly to sleep.  

Today we remember your beautiful birthday and your amazing voice and strong spirit that hung on so tight.  Three years ago we whispered our forever love into your tiny ears, and I pray that those words, still being whispered to you from here will echo forever in your heart. 

Heaven.  It's where you are, my sweet little guy.  So very far away from my arms, yet so very close in my heart.  Happy Birthday, Luke.  I love you beyond the stars.