lassoing the moon: Gratitude on a Monday...

Last summer I got into the habit of posting about some of my gratitude gifts I had been counting along my path and I loved it. I felt my eyes and heart were always searching for the beauty of the moments, the gift of the days...my heart's eyes and ears were ever open to hear the divine whispers that were just for me.

Then somewhere, somehow along my way through this past year, my pen slowed, my eyes lost their perspective and my heart I'm afraid, ever so gradually began to close and harden. It was very difficult for me to seek and find beauty amidst my struggles and so I simply quit trying and I allowed some pretty ugly things to take beauty's place in my life. Things like discontentment, frustration, impatience, anger, bitterness, unbelief, fear... you get the idea.

I've been thinking a lot about how this is not the perspective on life I'm designed to carry or convey. God did not design me to be the woman I've allowed myself to become and thankfully, I do not have to be or stay this way! I've been reminded by the Holy Spirit in my heart that I was designed for more than what I've been experiencing...that God is longing to restore and redeem those not-so-beautiful parts of my heart.

I have recently been thinking a lot about how our hearts and lives are like fields where whatever we choose to plant or allow to take root will grow and bring forth a harvest- whether that be anger, sadness, bitterness, disappointment, or beauty, hope, joy, faith or love. We choose- and I have been choosing poorly. Even though I know God was still offering goodness and beauty and whispering my name, I have been choosing to ignore Him and I hate to think of all I have missed as a result of my stubbornness and prideful wallowing.

It is a choice, friends. We each have it to make every day, every hour, each encounter, each minute, each season, each breath we are given. We can choose to see and search out the good and the beauty or we can choose to spin, wallow, weep and ignore wondering why life is so miserable. When we choose the harder way - the intentional seeking of the good, lovely and true in the middle of our struggles- we cannot help but notice that ever so gently a harvest of gratitude and wonder will begin to take root in our hearts.

As I have slowly been re-training the eyes of my heart and re-establishing this good habit of noticing these past few weeks, I also notice how my heart feels full and for the first time in what feels like forever, I can sense a cleansing spiritual rain washing fresh this desert heart of mine. And I'm so, so grateful.

631. A beautiful tea in the company of many dear heart-friends.