Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Without Words

by Sarah



Even though I love to write and find it very therapeutic, I have not had any words to write here which is ironic because my family is literally all I have been thinking about.  I've been feeling rather heavy hearted and struggling with grasping the reality of our situation. There are flashes of time in the mornings where I wake up and for a few brief seconds have forgotten about what is happening with Luke...and then it come crashing back down around me.  Sometimes I struggle with even getting out of bed to face the day, but I try to fight against that for Luke and try and be strong for him by keeping going.  These past few weeks have been a blur. A blur of tears, time passing, friends checking in, hard conversations and just plain emotional and physical numbness.  We are still struggling to wrap our brains around what is happening, but I feel that every day, we are becoming just a bit more accepting of our situation.  Although, some days that is just not the case and I find myself in a pile of tears that don't ever seem to stop falling.

We decided to carry Luke full term and love him for every possible minute we have with him.  We feel so blessed to be his parents.  In the days that remain, we long to honor our sweet son and do many "lifetime" activities while he is with us.  Even though our hearts are breaking, we desire to live each day we have with Luke to the fullest and celebrate him each day in every way possible.  We believe that he has been given to us for a purpose and know that God is using his precious days here on earth to touch so many lives and hearts. 

We have been and continue to be so deeply touched by everyone's thoughtfulness and love they have extended to us these past few weeks.  Encouraging cards continue to fill our mailbox and our email boxes continue to light up with notes of love and support. We have received wonderful voice mails, flowers, meals, gifts made especially for Luke, invitations, prayers for healing, candles representing hope and comfort, as well as some delicious homemade cookies.  All of this on top of the loads of love and hugs from loved ones near and far. It has been so incredibly humbling to see our circle of friends and family rally around us and we are beyond thankful and completely acknowledge that we would be unable to face this challenge without you beside us. 

We love and thank you.


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