Our Angel Todd and His Invisible Wings

 

by Joe and Sarah

In the spirit of introducing you to the special people who helped us on Luke's birthday, we are so excited to introduce you to our dear friend, Todd Messenger.  Todd has been a friend of mine (Sarah) for almost a decade and a friend of Joe's in recent years.  By trade, Todd works in the insurance business and is also a professional photographer who is bursting with talent and amazing vision.  He too was with us at the very beginning of our little family as he was our wedding photographer back in February.  He vividly documented our happiest day through his lens using his keen eye and ability to capture the beauty and emotion held in a single, life-changing moment.  Todd is gifted beyond measure with not only his photography talent but also his generosity of heart and spirit.   Todd's comforting presence and quick sense of humor immediately help people to feel at ease around him...a true talent when working with his photography subjects.  His pace is quick and his results are always completely breathtaking.

When we first learned of Luke's diagnosis a friend of mine shared with me an organization called Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep (NILMDS).  It's made up of a group of professional photographers who volunteer to photograph families who experience infant loss.  These amazing photographers operate on an on-call basis when families go into labor knowing that their precious child will soon be passing or has already passed into the arms of heaven.  The photographer's goal is to provide families experiencing their most devastating loss with beautiful photographs of their beloved child, ones that will certainly be cherished forever.   You can read more about this incredible resource here.  It is a service that we did not even know existed prior to learning of Luke's diagnosis, but it is one we are forever thankful to have had in our lives and one we would encourage anyone experiencing similar circumstances to pursue.

Of course when we learned of this resource, we both instantly knew that we wanted to capture any and all moments with our precious Luke that we possibly could.  However, the thought of a random stranger being present in the room with us during those most intimate, private and raw moments with our child seemed difficult to imagine.  We both agreed we wanted this service, but back when we were beginning to make plans for Luke's arrival, I just could not bring myself to contact them to get the ball rolling.  I am not sure what made the reaching out so hard for me....whether it was the difficulty of imagining a stranger with us during those precious moments or just accepting the reality of our situation and knowing that by reaching out for this kind of service I was moving forward and accepting that the agony of losing Luke was going to truly be our reality. I know I began praying about this "person/photographer" and who it would be and asking that God would just bring the right person to be with us in those moments...and to remove my fear and apprehension about sharing those moments with Luke with someone we didn't know.

Before any reaching out to NILMDS could take place on our part, our dear friend, Todd, reached out to us as a friend only learning of our heartbreak.  I have saved the email he sent to us as it caused me to burst into tears of gratitude and thankfulness.  In his email, Todd conveyed his sympathies and told us about this organization he volunteers for called Now I Lay Me Down to Sleep....isn't God amazing like that? (I've been friends with Todd for years and never knew he served brokenhearted people in this way! A truly humble hearted man.)  Upon reading Todd's email, both Joe and I were so completly overwhelmed with emotion that we could not reply back to Todd for several days.  Todd is not only a cherished friend, but he is also someone with whom we both completely trust and feel comfortable.  Todd had watched us and documented our joy from all angles at our wedding and we could think of no one we could possibly feel more comfortable with in our sorrow during our darkest and most private family moments than him.  We had found our photographer.  Todd was an absolute answer to prayer and we both treasure how God loved us through Todd on Luke's birthday.

 

In early December, we went to Todd's studio for a maternity photo shoot and to discuss with him our plans and ideas for some photographs we wanted with Luke when he was born.  Todd's sensitive heart made me not feel like an emotional basket case as I practically cried through our entire maternity shoot and discussion of Luke's arrival. 

When Luke's birthday arrived, Todd was at the hospital early and ready to move quickly in hopes of capturing as much of Luke's brief life as he possibly could.  He was our friend, our photographer and a true gift from above for our whole family that day.  The images he captured of Luke's time with us are STUNNING.  One of my personal worries was that I would look sad in every photograph or that I would be crying in all of them.  While we were all certainly emotional that day, Todd managed to capture not only the magnificent, miraculous beauty of our Luke, but also our connection with him, the emotional tenderness present in the room, our complete adoration of our son, our overwhelming love for each other and our sweet Luke and most of all, he captured our joy too.  An absolute treasure. 

 

Todd- we are forever thankful for your friendship in our lives, for the way you poured your amazing, God-given talents over our family and for the heart-capturing, breath-stealing images you have given us of our beloved Luke.  We will cherish them forever.  Thank you for being such an important part of Luke's birthday and for the beautiful way you have helped to craft our memories of those precious, beautiful moments.  We love you and thank you.