Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Ashes to Beauty

Yesterday marked the one year anniversary of when we buried Luke's ashes.  Laying him to rest was one of the most difficult things I have ever done..to rest his ashes and then eventually walk away from that spot leaving him there.  It remains so tender to me that I have not written about it until today.  

I remember the day was beautiful- lots of amazing clouds overhead, sunshine, a gentle breeze blowing...

We know his sweet spirit lives with Jesus in a place more beautiful than we can begin to imagine, and we wanted to find a resting place here on earth for him that was beautiful as well.  It is a spot that is safe, protected and private but it is far away from where we live most of the time which is often difficult as we are not able to visit him nearly as much as we would like.

 That day we spent some time together preparing his spot, we prayed and we read some scriptures that we love.  We talked to him and we told him over and over again how much we love him.  One of the many verses we read that day together as a family was Isaiah 35....

 1 The desert and the parched land will be glad;
   the wilderness will rejoice and blossom.
Like the crocus, 2 it will burst into bloom;
   it will rejoice greatly and shout for joy.
The glory of Lebanon will be given to it,
   the splendor of Carmel and Sharon;
they will see the glory of the LORD,
   the splendor of our God.
 3 Strengthen the feeble hands,
   steady the knees that give way;
4 say to those with fearful hearts,
   “Be strong, do not fear;
your God will come,
   he will come with vengeance;
with divine retribution
   he will come to save you.”
 5 Then will the eyes of the blind be opened
   and the ears of the deaf unstopped.
6 Then will the lame leap like a deer,
   and the mute tongue shout for joy.
Water will gush forth in the wilderness
   and streams in the desert.
7 The burning sand will become a pool,
   the thirsty ground bubbling springs.
In the haunts where jackals once lay,
   grass and reeds and papyrus will grow.

At the time we layed Luke to rest, we were certainly smack in the middle of our desert wilderness in life, but we also knew at that time that Luke's little brother or sister was growing in my belly and that helped our broken hearts keep going.  We believed God's promises, only they just did not feel very real at the time.  However, even then, God -ever faithful- was busily working to fulfill his promise to us found in that very scripture- our desert wilderness was going to bloom again...and that sweet, precious, beautiful bloom we named Lily. 

Luke will always be in our hearts and our minds and a very important part of our family.  We are counting the days with longing as we look forward to visiting him as a family again very soon.   

Compared to where we were one year ago, we are no longer living in a wilderness.  Although our hearts still ache from time to time, we truly feel rescued by God from those dark days.  There are now streams of abundance flowing where there was once parched dry ground.  We have peace in our hearts where worry and fear once ruled and our hearts now sing with joy so much easier than back when only agonizing cries escaped.  

He always keeps his promises.

...and provide for those who grieve in Zion— to bestow on them a crown of beauty instead of ashes, the oil of joy instead of mourning, and a garment of praise instead of a spirit of despair. They will be called oaks of righteousness, a planting of the LORD for the display of his splendor.
- Isaiah 61:3


  1. This brings tears to my eyes. I have had so many friends lose their babies and it is such a difficult journey to go through. I'm so sorry you had to experience that. May God's love and peace be close to you always as you remember precious little Luke! Thank you for stopping by my blog! :) Aimee @ My Pink Life

  2. A beautiful place for a beautiful boy with a beautiful soul. Love your reflections. Love how Luke's clouds were surrounding you that day. It was like he was hugging you.

  3. Praise God for who He is in you and who you are as a family.