Jackson, Wyoming- At Last!

This post is so long overdue its not even funny.  About a month ago, we traveled to Jackson, Wyoming to visit my brother and his beautiful girlfriend.  They have lived there for three years, and this was our first trip up there to visit! It is a loonnnngggg drive (20+ hours each way) so we took our time and broke that down into two days of driving.  All I can say is if you have not been to that area of the country, it is a MUST VISIT!  Put it on your list! They live in a small town called Wilson, Wyoming which is located just outside of Jackson.  The town big town is called Jackson and Jackson Hole is the nearby ski mountain resort which is literally minutes away from Grand Teton National Park and Yellowstone National Park as well.

In my defense for the delay of this post, just before leaving, I purchased a new camera and well, I went a little crazy on our trip and took over 900+ photos! (I know!)

 So, over the past few weeks, I've been slowly going through them all in effort to weed out the obvious bad ones and to organize the ones I wanted to keep and post for the blog.  I also learned that taking 900+ photos is fun, but kind of a pain to go through when you get back!  So at long last, here are but a few of my favorites from our trip.  We were there for nearly a week and had the best time.

Here you go...

Here is where we stayed...in that white building on the left.  It is literally at the base of the Jackson Hole ski mountain (you can see some of the ski runs in the background) and right next to the tram (the big red Jackson Hole building).  Its located in Teton Village which is the community of hotels, restaurants, shops and 5 Star hotels.  It was a lot of fun to stay in the village.  Thanks D for hooking us up with such a great place to rest our heads!

This is my brother- He is a real live mountain man and I love him to pieces and miss him terribly! (However, every time I visit him in one of the cool places he's living, I am reminded why he probably won't be moving back to Kansas any time soon.)

This is his beloved dog, Luna.  She has lived 200 lives in her 9 years....

This is my amazing brother and his adorable girlfriend....

This is the house where they live...

This is where my brother works, and with so much wilderness around...needless to say, we learned a ton and were very well geared up for wildlife spotting and wilderness exploring...

gearing up...

...one of the first places we went...I wanted to see "the famous barn" that is in so many photos of this area. Oh, and the Tetons too.  :)

We hiked around Jenny Lake inside Grand Teton National Park one day and hiked to a place called Hidden Falls.

...the spot we stopped for a special picnic lunch...

...some of Luke's clouds were overhead while we ate...so beautiful...

...a little hammock that my brother set up when we were hiking back and decided to take a break...(it was the coolest thing and comfy too!)

M & D are a great together and they are also amazing chefs in the kitchen...they fed us very well!

One evening we made Asian food- we had spring rolls and homemade Pho (pronounced Pha) which is a soup. It was delicious!

One entire day we went to Yellowstone and did what is known as "the lower loop." It is about a 12 hour drive round trip- not because you are traveling a super long distance, but because you can only drive 45mph the entire time - and also because there are so many spectacular places to stop and get out to see.... (ps. an especially big thank you to my brother who took us on this trip despite the fact that he has to do it all the time for work! We LOVED getting to see it!)

...needless to say, we were not the only ones waiting for Old Faithful geyser to go off!

Old Faithful...so amazing...

...another geyser we stopped to see...

...a hot spring...

...some scoping at our picnic spot in Yellowstone... (notice M sitting up there next to the river watching for wildlife too...everyone was spotting wildlife...mine were just easier to see...)

 

Part of the lower loop in Yellowstone contains a place called The Canyon which is amazing and so, so beautiful. 

It contains this famous and gigantic waterfall...

We spent some time there just soaking it all in...

Then moved onto this valley where we watched some wildlife prancing around and killing things...

More Luke clouds overhead in Yellowstone...

...we saw quite a few bison in Yellowstone...they are HUGE...I included this shot so you could get perspective of one next to a Dodge pickup truck...did I mention that they are HUGE?

...another glimpse...

...a waterfall just inside the park where we stopped on our way back to Jackson...

...another look...

One whole morning we hiked to this place called Ule Hill in Grand Teton National Park.  It is well known as a place to observe wolves in their natural habitat.  We were lucky in that we had the whole place to ourselves the entire time we were there, but we were unlucky in that we did not see any wolves.  But we did see plenty of wildlife doing their thing...it was a fun morning...

...I know!  Look at those Tetons in the background!

We saw some moose while we were there too...

...and these guys... (really gals)

We introduced M&D to a Swiss yard game called Kubb (pronounced Koob). It is a lot of fun to play and needless to say, the students became the teachers.  I think we won only one game of the 20 that we played....but we had a lot of fun but I'm pretty sure most of those games were close ones!

...the battle zone...

D in action...

 

... in action...

...the girl is a ringer!

...I'm pretty certain he's about to win the game with this one...

...some of the days we were there were cold and chilly with a little bit of rain, so we played some indoor games as well....

...Remember when I said they fed us well? These are some homemade fries we had one night...

...the griller checking his fish...

...the feast!  Salmon and halibut caught by my brother and the fries (we also had salad too)- (please excuse the hideous cropping. That was the photographer's fault... but trust me, the whole scene was a beautiful sight!)

Remember I said was rainy some of the days we were there? Well, that was down in the valley were we were, but up on the peaks it was all snow! So one day we rode the tram (which on a busy day can hold close to 100 people!) up to the top of the ski mountain at Jackson Hole.  It was really fun and really cold at the top too!

At the top is this little warming hut place that makes waffles for the skiers and snowboarders during the winter.  It was open while we were there, so we went in.  We did not have waffles, but we (I) had a hot chocolate and the boys had some cold ones. It was really fun- and yes, that is fresh snow all around this building!

 

...along the outside of the waffle place...

In the wintertime, my brother does the daily snow report for the ski mountain.  All of that gear on the roof of the warming hut is what helps him to get his weather info every morning.  Pretty crazy!

...my delicious hot chocolate....first one of the season is always somehow the best!

...at the top...

....our last night in town...

...we took the scenic way out of town and these were some of our final views as we drove away....

...goodbye Tetons....we cannot wait to come back and visit!

To M & D, we cannot thank you enough for your hospitality, your incredible meals you provided and for all of the fun we had visiting you.  We look forward to seeing you again really soon! Love you lots!

9 Months

Dearest Luke,
It seems impossible to believe that it has been nine months since your sweet voice cried out and filled our hearts with joy. Nine months have blurred together, not because time has moved fast, but because we have had to learn to live and see life with new eyes and through our fractured hearts. Your Daddy and I miss you terribly and look for you in the sky every day. We call each other whenever we see some really good cirrus clouds and we always try our best to take photos of these beautiful glimpses of you.

I still talk to you and think you are the most beautiful and brave little guy in the world.  Your life and story continue to touch people's hearts and I'm so thankful that I was chosen to be your mom.  We remain absolutely smitten with you sweet boy. I just wish I could hold you close and see you smile and learn and grow.

I'm missing you more every day that I get farther from your birthday, but I also know that with each day that passes, I'm a day closer to seeing you again.  My heart will forever have a Luke-shaped hole in it.  I love you, Luke.

Love and Kisses (lots and lots of them!),
Your Mama

Journey · Imago Dei: Beauty

When you look in the mirror what do you see? What does that quiet voice in your head tell you? Are you hearing lies or truth? Are you believing what you hear? As a society, we are held captive to the images we see in television, movies, magazines and the internet. We are bombarded by our culture’s message that you are only as valuable as you are beautiful, and as a culture we are constantly searching for the beauty secret that will keep us young and beautiful. According to the media, beauty is found in a product, a treatment, a work out or a clothing line. We are told by the world that beauty is external and purchasable, and if you don’t have “it”, you don’t count.

It is a harsh message to which we are all vulnerable and therefore we strive toward this empty image of perfection. However, God’s word tells us differently. God tells us that we are valuable simply because he created us. He tells us that we are fearfully and wonderfully made, and as his creation, our job is to reflect his glory into the world. We literally get to wear his beauty and it is his reflection in us is that makes us beautiful.

The enemy of our hearts does not like it when we feel beautiful because of who we are in Christ. So often, when we seek our own reflection in a worldly mirror, we cannot help but compare ourselves with others and feel “less” or “empty” or just “not enough.” Believing the empty promises of our culture, we believe there must be some way to improve the way we feel, so we try more dieting, more make up, more free weights, more surgery or more accessorizing (whether it be cars, handbags, the latest and greatest shiny object, jewelry or shoes).

The truth is that real beauty sometimes has wrinkles. Sometimes beauty has white or gray hair or may have none at all. Sometimes the most beautiful smiles radiate from mouths filled with crooked or imperfect teeth. Beauty can be found in a laugh, in a listening ear or in encouraging words spoken with intention. It cannot be bought. Our earthly treasure can only buy empty imitations. However, God paid for our fractured hearts with the life of his son, and called us “very good.” In the search for true beauty, his is the only currency that has value.

Despite our struggles, Jesus looks at us and whispers “You are enough. You are lovely. You are on your way to becoming the beautiful person I designed you to be.” He longs for us to be kind to ourselves in how we see and treat our physical bodies. The beauty we possess simply by being children of God is both life giving and essential. When we rest in the assurance that we are his chosen child and are beautiful in his eyes, joy overflows from our hearts revealing a beauty whose regimen was never meant to be kept a secret.

	Mirror, Mirror on the wall, Have I got it? 'Cause Mirror you've always told me who I am I'm finding it's not easy to be perfect So sorry you won't define me Sorry you don't own me…
	Mirror I am seeing a new reflection I'm looking into the eyes of He who made me And to Him I have beauty beyond compare I know He defines me… ~ Barlow Girl, “Mirror”

§ If you are interested:  click here for The Journey in Word format and click here for the Journey in PDF format. For more resources, feel free to visit the Journey Devotional page by clicking here.

8 Months

My Sweet Little Guy,

Today you would be eight months old.  I cannot believe it.  Time feels like it is moving both fast and slow at the same time.  I see pictures of your friends and know you would be sitting up, playing, discovering your voice and so many other adventurous things.  Your dad and I have missed you more than ever this past month as we marked many anniversaries in our story with you.  Your life continues to inform who I am becoming in so many amazing, surprising, heartbreaking and beautiful ways and I'm so very grateful. 

We are going to see your uncle soon, and I wish so badly that you could be with us.  I ache when I see the little Halloween costumes for little guys like you and imagine what you would have been dressed up as this year and can only dream of how cute you would be!  As the seasons change from summer into fall, always know that my love for you knows no seasons. It is constant and forever true.  You are always my little guy and I'm missing you with thousands of tears.   I pray and believe heaven is beyond as beautiful as I imagine it to be and I know I am another month closer to holding you again.  I love you my sweet Luke.

love and kisses,
your mom

Facing Fears

 Six months ago when I was home on my maternity leave, I made a list of all of the things I was scared to do and the list was l-o-n-g and frankly, I could not even imagine making it to August at the time, so I felt pretty safe when I realized that everything on the list would have to be dealt with and faced by August (just by the nature and timing of the events on the list).  So when I pulled it out earlier this week to look at, my jaw dropped as I read over it and could see all of the things I had pushed into and faced over the past six months.  I was just in awe of how God not only brought me through August, but that he also brought me through almost all of those fears, situations, conversations and circumstances...each in their own time.  Step by step, one at a time and while our situation is practically the same as it was then- actually a little worse if you take into account Joe losing his job- I can plainly see, that I am not.

I am a different girl then I was six months ago.  I'm not healed, but I'm healing.  I'm not happy, but I'm happier. I'm still grieving, but I'm not grief stricken.  I still cry almost every day, but I no longer sob every day.  I do not feel strong, but I know I am stronger.  Making these realizations about myself and seeing that even though I do not feel like it most of the time, I am making progress and I am continuing to move forward in hope and toward our future...whatever that may be.  (Which sounds so simple to write it out, but the reality of the recognition for my own self was huge.)  I'm so grateful for the way God allowed me that glimpse and reminded me that he is working in the every day details and moments and for the way he has brought me this far through this desert season in my life.  I'm not where I am going yet, but I can see that even though I feel like time is moving in slow motion, my life and healing are not.

The good thing about facing your fears head on is that you really only have to do it once, because after that first time or encounter, it will never be as hard as it was to do that very first time and from there will get a little bit easier the next time and then a little bit easier and then a little bit easier and so forth on through the process.  I also want to recognize and honor the fact that the pain that is often the companion with some of these fears really does not diminish as you move through the process of facing your fears.  The pain simply just becomes easier to identify, and manage.

I feel like I have just become much more aware of myself, my feelings and my "typical" responses in certain, expected situations.  For example, prior to our church's baptism at a community park, knowing it would be a deeply painful experience, Joe and I went out to the park alone the day before to spend time there without anyone else around.  I wanted to be able to cry and be sad and remember our little family's happy, beautiful day from the year before without a crowd of people around me.  I knew I needed to be at the baptism because it would be a difficult milestone to honor, and for that reason alone, I wanted to push in and face it head on.  But I also wanted to give myself an avenue to express all of the emotions that would obviously be present, so by going out the day before and crying and praying and just sitting in silence remembering how happy we had been in that place all together, I was able to actually feel okay and present on the actual day.  But on the other hand, there are many other times where I have not been prepared or have planned poorly and have walked into a situation completely unprepared for my emotional reaction and response.  It is a hard thing to understand, but I'm learning that no matter what your fear or situation you are struggling with facing, the only way to face it is with a willing heart and by taking one step at a time (and it helps if you carry some Kleenex in your purse too!)

Although my list of fears to face from February is pretty much miraculously completed I am not saying that I am without fears or worries for what is ahead on the path for me.  I know there are many more difficult days, situations and encounters ahead.  However, I understand so much better now than I did in February, that by digging in and being willing to practice courage, you don't become weaker...in fact, quite the opposite.  Your heart beats stronger, you learn so much about yourself and sometimes, you even feel like you can fly.  It is truly amazing to recognize that the fears that have held you prisoner for so long... whether in thought or reality, when faced with strength, bravery and prayer, eventually become the very things that end up setting you free.  I'm so grateful for such a beautiful truth- even if it is a paradox!