Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Exactly.

I have been struggling in pretty much every area of my life for about a month now. I feel like my head is underwater and that even simple everyday activities and any forward motion has required tremendous effort both physically and emotionally. Not every day has felt this way during this journey, but the past month certainly has, and I'm not certain why all of the sudden things just started feeling harder.  They just did.  I have struggled to find words to express my heart and as a result have not been writing as much as I would like, because I just don't even know where to begin explaining where I am and how I'm feeling. 

However, this morning I was reading one of my favorite writers, Leigh McLeroy and tears just flowed out of my eyes and down my cheeks as I read her beautiful words.  She articulated exactly and so beautifully what I've been not only experiencing, but also have been so desperate to hear.  So instead of my words here today, I'm posting hers.  What she wrote felt like a gentle, whsipered reminder from God straight to my heart and for the first time in weeks, I could feel my heart's wings begin to spread open a little bit.  Here is what she said that spoke to me most...

"Things fall apart," Irish poet Yeats wrote, "the centre cannot hold." But I challenge his conclusion. I believe it can, and does. The center holds because The Beautiful Son is at the center, holding all things together: For by Him all things were created, both in the heavens and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities--all things have been created by Him and for Him. And He is before all things, and in Him all things hold together. (Colossians 1:16-17, NASB)

Circumstances at edges are perilous, yes. Things are broken. They crash and fall and shatter. But the center is strong.The center holds. Or better, it is held.

The challenge is to celebrate the mending, not mourn the pieces. To be thankful for the repairs, and not lament (at least not for long) the breaking. The challenge is to believe--even before things are put right--that rightness is near and possible...that it will come. Broken things will be mended: one day even our own hearts' cracks and fault lines will be flawlessly fixed, and stronger for it.

The challenges she wrote about are the exact challenges I'm facing and what I'm realizing is that everyone at some time or another faces these kinds of challenges...challenges that make you think, challenges that make you doubt, challenges that make you question, challenges that cause you to feel alone, challenges that make you wonder if you will EVER feel normal again...and her beautiful words reminded me that my God is a mender.  When something is being mended, it is necessary for it to be held close in both hands, it usually takes intentional time, and requires patience as the work is slow.  There is beauty in mending and being mended, and I am determined to keep my eyes open and try to be thankful for every tiny, painful stitch as He mends my broken heart.  Thank you God for holding all of my pieces and for tenderly mending my heart and life back together.  Thank you, Leigh for your beautiful words and for helping my heart to remember this truth and for helping me to re-focus on celebrating the mending instead of mourning the pieces.

* Leigh McLeroy is a brilliant writer who has a passion for seeing the sacred in the ordinary.  She has several books and a weekly email called Wednesday Words. If you have never read her, I cannot recommend her highly enough!  You can check her out here.  Her writing is a gift for anyone who reads it!

4 comments:

  1. Such powerful words Sarah! My church just gave a sermon over that passage in Colossians and I immediately thought of the all 'stuff' that is moving through our community of friends this past year. Through it all Sarah He does hold all things together! Thanks for sharing your heart! I think of you and Joe often and continue to pray for you friend!

    Love you,
    Corissa

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  2. Beauty for ashes, new works from broken pieces ... I believe that for you with all of my heart. So thankful that Leigh's words ministered to yours!

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  3. Beautiful. Thanks for sharing.
    Thinking of you, Friend!
    Dawn

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  4. Just wanted to tell you that I love you. So thankful for you.

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