Celebrating Luke's Birthday

 This was the scene Sunday inside the lightbox at church on Luke's bench.  As we've mentioned before, every week some special helpers hide little toys around the lightbox for the little eyes who come in on Sunday morning to find. Obviously, this was our favorite arrangement EVER! (Thank you sweet secret helpers for remembering our little guy's birthday in his special place!)

A closer look reveals a gathering of the toys around a special little birthday cake for sweet Luke.  Happy birthday buddy!

Today was a day filled with heavy hearts and mixed emotions....joy, grief, sadness, loss, gratitude...you name the emotion and I probably experienced it today.  My first tears fell shortly after 4am when I was lying awake just thinking about our little guy and wishing I could simply get up and go into the next room to whisper "Happy Birthday Luke!" in his sweet sleepy ears.

I took today off from work, but Joe was not as fortunate.  I spent the morning being quiet and honestly very sad just looking at all of our amazing photographs from Luke's birthday and watching our little videos we have of him crying and wiggling his sweet face and hands.  Our incredible OB, Dr. Nichols called to check in on me and to share her own memories of Luke and what an amazing baby he was.  It meant so much to me to even think that she remembered his birthday and cared enough to personally call.  As the morning went on, many other friends loved ones sent thoughtful emails, text messages and even some photos of beautiful cirrus clouds from all around.  It was very touching to feel so much love from so many on such a difficult day for us and to know that we were not the only ones remembering our little guy today.

I spent some time writing and then waited for Joe to come home for lunch so we could begin some of Luke's Birthday Celebration.  Over the past few weeks, we have been thinking of how we wanted to honor and celebrate Luke's birthday and were also trying to think of fun traditions we could start that could be long continued into the future so our future children could help us celebrate his life as well.  It was kind of a difficult thing to plan having never done or experienced anything like this special occasion before, but we came up with a beautiful idea.

We decided to release balloons up into the sky toward heaven to let Luke know we were celebrating and missing him down here.  We got a bunch of brightly colored ones as well as one special pink one from his baby sister and set out to turn them loose into the beautiful blue sky.

 Together we released them along with so much love off into the great blue sky.  It was a chilly day, but one filled with lots of sunshine, so we were able to watch them float toward heaven for a fairly long time until they slowly faded from our sight.

We then returned home where Joe completely surprised me with the most perfect birthday gift to me from Luke.

A little back story, one of my favorite artists is a woman named Kelly Rae Roberts.  She used to be a social worker who a few years ago began following her dreams to become an artist.  Her work is inspirational, uplifting, encouraging and hopeful.  She has a beautiful blog and continues to produce amazing, soul-filled pieces that speak straight to my (and so many other's) heart.  Joe knows I love her work and thanks to a little helpful nudge from Luke, surprised me with one of her pieces today!  I will let its beauty speak for itself.  Its title is called "Everything Shapes Us"- and it could not be more apropos.  I cannot wait to find the perfect spot for it and cannot thank my two favorite guys enough for such a special and perfect gift!  Here are some glimpses...

Joe then had to go back to work, and I decided to treat myself to a pedicure at a nearby salon.  I took my book and enjoyed being pampered for a little while by people who had no idea what was going on in my world today.  It is not something I do very often for myself, but it was a special treat for a special day.

Tonight, Joe and I shared a meal at Cafe Europa.  It is the place where we went with Luke the day before his birthday.  We love that spot and it always feels cozy and special no matter what time of year it may be...plus, the food is amazing!  We then headed over to the Intercontinental Hotel to admire the famous Plaza Lights before they turn off for the season in a few weeks.  This hotel has many special memories for Joe and I.  We have not only shared many cozy afternoons in their Oak Room, but it is also where Joe hosted a surprise engagement party for us and where we spent part of our honeymoon as well! We love to go there especially in the winter because they have wonderful views and a roaring fireplace with comfy couches!  It was fun to not only talk about Luke while we were there, but to also celebrate how God grew our marriage closer through all of the difficulties of the past year.  In spite of everything, we feel incredibly fortunate.

We then came home and celebrated Luke's birthday with his official birthday cake! Our dear friend, Jessica made him this special cloud birthday cake! Isn't it the sweetest? The flavor was Luke's special signature, Chunky Monkey.  It was absolutely delicious.  Thank you, Jessica.  It was completely perfect.

 As we finally reached the end of this day, we are both exhausted.  We feel richer and so thankful that we got to spend the day remembering, celebrating, missing, loving and cherishing our sweet little guy.  We are so, so thankful that we got chosen to be his parents. We love you Luke and loved celebrating your life today.  Happy Birthday!