Luke's Birthday Letters

 
Luke, Dad here, as we remember you birthday a flood of emotions come back.  A year ago, we were so excited to finally get to see you, and be face to face.  Then you surprised us with a little songbird cry.  We didn’t think you’d be able to even take a breath, let alone let your voice be heard. 

365 days later, and each day in between I look at you face to face, and remember your little cry.  You are such a fighter, and I’m proud of the way you came into this world, strong.  For having such little hands you left a big fingerprint on our world. 

We miss having you here with us, wearing a little hat with a number 1 on it.  You’d probably have no idea all the hubbub is for you.  Simply having your favorite people around you would bring a smile to your face.  We look ahead to that day we can celebrate with you in person face to face, again.

As we celebrate you here, we know you are safe in Heaven.  Your mom and I were wondering what your party must be like today.  It brings us comfort that your great grandmas are watching over you, for sure.  We sent you some balloons for your party.  Keep an eye out for them they are arriving via air mail.  We love you Luke.

With all my love,
Your Dad

———————————

Our Dearest Birthday Boy,

Happy, happy birthday to you!  I cannot believe you came into this world one year ago today it just does not seem possible.  Your dad and I are so, so proud of you and we love being your parents.  Today we celebrated your life with our thoughts, our tears, our love, balloons, birthday cake and a fun dinner out.  We so wish that you could have been with us to help eat your cake, but your dad and I did a fine job helping you with it!  As I write this, your baby sister is kicking away in my belly, I like to think that she is telling you she loves you and that she was celebrating her big brother today in her own way.  I'm sad you won't get to meet her this side of heaven, but we will make sure she knows who her big brother is and that she knows your story.

I watched your videos today little Luke and cherished seeing you move and hearing your little voice.  My heart broke my heart into hundreds of pieces. How I long to hear it again and snuggle you close and whisper to you happy birthday in person. Today when I was buying your balloons, an elderly gentleman passed me by as I was wrangling them in the store.  He was stooped over and had a hat on his head.  He stopped pushing his cart, looked at me and looked at your balloons and said simply, "Party time."  His face smiled a tiny bit as he moved on his way.  At first I wanted to burst into tears because I so desperately WISHED I was buying these for your actual birthday party and that you were at home with dad waiting for me to return...but I knew what this man didn't know- that we were sending these balloons up to heaven to you in just a matter of minutes....I don't think my heart could have felt less like 'party time.' 

However, as I drove away and fought back the tears, I was struck by a thought.  What if this little old man was giving me a message he could not possibly have realized.  What if at this very time last year, as they prepared for your arrival, the angels were excitedly saying, "IT'S PARTY TIME!" all in honor of your arrival in heaven? The more I thought about that, the more my tears slowed and a smile began to emerge.  I love the thought that there was a party held in your honor when you arrived there last year...I simply wish I could have been there too.

However until that day, your dad and I will continue to celebrate your presence in our lives here on earth.  You are thought of and loved every single day.  I miss you more than my words can possibly express.  You are our favorite little guy and always will be.  I cannot wait to see you and hold you close again my sweet boy.  I even secretly hope my heart remembers to whisper, "Party time!" when its time for me to head your way.

Happy Birthday Luke!  I love you so much and I'm a better person because you were with us.  I love being your mom.  Always and forever.

Happy Birthday,
Love Mom