August and Everything After... Part 8: April Fool?

Here is the next installment and if you need a refresher on what was happening when we left off (and I would not blame you!) you can get caught up here: Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4, Part 5, Part 6 and part 7

Seven years ago today I was minding my own business after church.  Driving home, my windows were down, the sun was shining warm and my radio was up.  Spring was springing and I could feel my spirits responding accordingly.  I had big afternoon plans to clean my house, open the windows and mow my lawn.  It had been months since I had last spoken to Joe outside of a socially appropriate "hello" here and there.  My heart still missed him, but after eight months of hoping and praying following our mountain-climbing trip, I began to accept that things were not to be with us.  As the days, weeks and now months passed, I had gradually stopped "casually" glancing at my phone or email hoping for a text or message or something from him...it was never there. Just as we had agreed. No games, no mixed signals.  No contact.  Ugh. Stupid integrity.

So when I heard my phone ringing in my purse, I genuinely did not give it a glance as I answered it because I knew after all this time who it would not be.  So when I heard his voice on the other end of the line, I was so caught off guard that I practically had to pull the car over in order to regain my composure.  Out of the blue, just like that, he was calling me.  Ever so nonchalantly he asked me if I wanted to meet him for lunch.  Without any hesitation or forethought I said 'YES!'  (I've always been known for my breeziness...haha) We made plans to meet shortly and hung up the phone.  I was freaking out. Literally.  What had just happened? Why after all this time was he calling me? Why had I just blurted out 'yes' when I could have played it a little bit cooler? Where was my 'mystery?"  Ugh.  Of course I immediately hung up and called my friend Jessica to freak out and tell her what had just happened.

I raced home to change my clothes and freshen up before heading down to the Nelson Art Gallery where we were meeting for lunch.  I could not focus on anything.  It quickly became clear to me that my previous belief that I had started to move on from him was a complete lie.  We met for lunch in this really cool indoor garden cafe at the gallery and proceeded to sit and talk for almost two hours.  I had no idea why he had wanted to meet for lunch.  Everything we talked about was friendly and un-noteworthy.  Nothing that would rise to the level of a crazy-impromptu lunch breaking months and months of silence between us.  Don't get me wrong, it was lovely (I was loving every minute of it) but in the back of my mind, I also felt like there was something he wanted to tell me and I really began to think that he was going to tell me that he was going to marry the other girl (the one he was still seeing from the summer before), and that he wanted to be the one to tell me before I heard it through the grapevine.  So I kept waiting for our conversation to go in that direction- for the proverbial shoe to drop. My guard began ever-so-slowly going up.

After lunch (he paid?! hello mixed messages!) we decided to walk outside for a bit at his suggestion.  Sure! If he wanted to prolong our time together, who was I to argue?   If you have never been to this particular gallery, there are lovely terraced gardens all around the outside of the building.  On this particular day, it was perfect weather outside, trees and flowers were blooming everywhere, grass was bright green and there was a gentle breeze.  It was perfect and I did not want this afternoon to end.  We wandered around and after a little while, Joe suggested we walk over to another nearby walled garden. 

Of course I said yes and we walked and talked for several more hours.  Our conversation was easy and fun, but I still had this little nag in the back of my head and heart that he was going to tell me he was going to propose to another girl, so my selfish heart was just soaking up every fun minute of this non-date because I was probably going to be my last time alone with him.  I just wanted to stay in this suspended reality of beautiful fun.

We eventually sat down on a quiet bench within the walled garden and talked while watching a lovely fountain.  The afternoon was beginning to fade and we had to start thinking about walking back to our cars.  It strikes me as ironic that I do not recall his specific words, but I do remember that out of left field, Joe began talking and sharing his feelings for me....how after all of this time of absolute apart-ness he had feelings for me that had continued to deepen that he wanted to pursue.  I remember feeling so unbelievably elated that I felt like I could fly. I'm sure it's why I cannot recall his exact words.

Of course in the middle of this dream come true moment, there was one major detail:  Joe was still seeing the other girl.  HELLO! Ugh.  In effort to protect her here, I will not go into details about what was shared where she was concerned other than to say Joe spoke of her with respect and honor toward their relationship, but Joe also respectfully made it clear to me that he was in the process of ending their relationship and that things had been heading that direction for ahwile.  We agreed that it was important to both of us that their relationship be completely over before anything could start with us.

We decided that until they were officially and completely broken up, we would not spend any time together both one-on-one or in a group setting.  We would not talk on the phone, email, text or anything else until they were broken up.  We both wanted to begin our relationship with integrity, so we agreed that after parting ways on this beautiful April Fools day, I would wait to hear directly from him that he had ended things with her. He assured me that he was motivated did not think it would take longer than a few days to a week for him to break up with her.  We both could not stop smiling as we hugged good bye in the parking garage that afternoon.  

Driving home, I marveled at the beautiful turn my life had taken.  I felt blessed, unbelievably happy, chosen and excited for the days ahead.  I had not been talking with or spending any time with Joe for the last eight months, so what was one more week? Especially when I knew the goodness that awaited me at the other end? Oh if only things were that easy.  Looking back now, I plainly see now that as I drove home singing and smiling, I had no idea that in a few short days, I would feel like the world's BIGGEST April Fool, that it would again be months before I would speak with Joe, and that my heart was going to be engaged in a battle only a mountain could have prepared me for.... things were about to get really ugly....

                   ....to be continued....